After ten months of job searching I’ve learned a lot.

1) You need to tailor your resume/CV to each and every role you’re applying. You need to include keywords, but ensure that it flows like natural writing. You need to communicate your experience, quantify successes, and outperform 98% percent of your competition in those respects.

2) Recruiters spend about 6-8 seconds reviewing your work, if any at all.

3) After every conversation, be it a screening call, a video meet, or an in-person interview, you need to craft a polite thank you note for their time. This has to be concise and respectful.

4) Nobody responds to these emails.

5) You can’t just apply for the job and hope of getting an email these days. Don’t be silly! You need to network! That means turning yourself into the dreaded “slide into your DMs” guy/gal. In that note you need to do more than just express interest, you need to demonstrate value! Show what you’re worth to them, but for goodness-sake, don’t for any reason project that you NEED a job. Eww!

6) Do not expect a response to these emails.

7) You need to answer all calls, respond to all emails, and entertain all DMs. But, for goodness sake, beware of the scams which could come from any one of those sources.

8) Understand that if you are ghosted, that is the new normal and try not to take it personally. But also, if you are getting ghosted, you need to rewrite your resume, pay for a 2-week certification (remember college doesn’t even matter anymore), change your profile picture, repaint your home office, buy a new suit and for goodness sake, get a haircut. But again, nothing personal.

9) If you are having trouble getting an offer, embrace the reality that the market isn’t great right now. While candidates go unpaid for at least half a year on average before finding a new role, the hiring teams are suffering under a DELUGE of an absence of qualified workers. (But don’t take that personally!)

Okay, obviously I’m just having a little fun here (what the hell, I have plenty of time on my hands), but I am trying to point out the dichotomy of experiences expressed by TA teams and the actual candidates. Clearly nobody is enjoying the easy-apply spray and pray dominating today’s hiring environment, but I’m also specifically and pointedly isolating the contrast in respect that TA teams expect from that which they’re willing to demonstrate.

I’d expect everybody to have a little humanity out there but I also understand the nuance. I’ve been the guy combing through resumes wondering why on earth this candidate or that candidate would have even applied for the job I was trying to fill. I’ve seen over/under-qualified, out of area (even out of country), I’ve been ghosted by candidates, and I’ve struggled with C-suite folks who seemingly couldn’t stay on the same page for more than a few consecutive days. Additionally, I’ve been the hiring manager who failed to close loops or respond to inquiries.

A little nuance goes a long way.